The best thing about moving is throwing away what you don't use. The next best thing is going through the old letters, photos & keepsakes that you have saved through the years. Fotunately, my desire to purge hasn't overwhelmed the very small level of sentimentality that I do have and I've saved some letters from my Grandma Anderson who passed away in 2006 (and whose personality and temperment were probably where my own came from).
Grandma grew up on a farm and ran away when she was ~13 years old, forged working papers, became a nanny & waitress, then after a nasty fall in her late teens she was fused at the hip and walking on crutches til the day she died. To top it off her husband (Grampa Teddy) died when both of her kids were under 5 years old.
She asked me not to share some of the details in the letter, but I think the letter needs to be shared & she isn't around to swat me with a flyswatter anymore so here it is, typos and all, as a reminder to who I am and where I came from :: (sorry Gram)
2004
Honey,
Please don't get mad at me, but I worry about you, thinking maybe that this new guy can afford the places + gifts all girls love. But don't think that can be love. It maybe can become it give it time. I know after your first real love, you hurt so bad when it ends no matter who ends it. You know your heart better than any one else. I liked Gerad I hope I spelled his name right, I only met him once. You said he had faults we all do. But take your time. I was so hurt when I broke up with Harold (he cheated just once but I thought he would do the same after marriage).
I was lucky to marry someone I respected. It was the best thing I ever did. He was a good lover, a friend I could talk to him for hours. He was a hard worker. A wonderful father. He loved Kathy + John so much. When I got hurt he was at the hospital 11 1/2 month every day. No matter how tired he was. He was there in the good + the bad, the birth of our first sons then 4 miscarriages. I loved him very much the longer we were married till the day he died. He knew I didn't love him + still loved Harold but I told him the way I felt but he loved me + I was afraid I'd go back + marry Harold + if he cheated I would have had the same life my mother had (Never)
But he turned out good + become head of Local 6 + Ortomenal Steel Union.
20 years later my brotherinlaw told him where I lived + that I was a widow. He came to my door + Kathy said Mr. Boltz was at the door + my kids knew all about him. I told my kids when they were teenagers. That I married Ted 3 days after our first date. I also was engaged 2 years to Boltz. But no sex. I refused maybe that is why he cheated. He told me he couldn't believe I dropped him + married Ted that fast. My best friend called him + said if he loved me I was getting married the next morning + then it would be to late. He got lost + we were just walking out of the church. He jumped out of the car + said are you married. I can't tell you how I felt. But I never drank. I had 2 Brandies on an empty stomach. Then had chicken dinner. I got stinko then at the hotel I threw up.
He was good, he said go to sleep I know how you feel. We got a life time. The next nite was really our first.
I just couldn't date Harold when he asked. I knew the girl he married + they had 2 children. Kathy + John really liked him. I said he could call + we could be friends (phone friends). Every couple of months he call we would talk. My heart jumped when I first seen him after all those years it was like yesterday. My kids said after. I said Harold your life with Dolly + mine with Ted turned out good. I would never had had Kathy + John. He said, no we would have had our own.
Once on the phone I asked him how long did it take for him to forget me. He said how long for me I said 2 yrs + then I knew I had found I loved Ted + never looked back. Just before he hung up he said I'll let you know when that day comes. 2 months later and 1 call later I saw his death notice it was Oct 2. I cried and I never knew what killed him. But I still think 12 happy years with Ted. I would do it all over again. I loved 2 men both in different ways. I was amazed that being on crutches didn't bother him at all he said my mother had health problems (Heart) but he never stopped loving her. Louise you remind me of how much your like me. Hard working, passionate, strong willed, stubborn, lots of pride. Once men said I was beautiful 36-26-36 when I got married + when I modeled. Men are going to tell you the same thing. My step mother gave me good advice when I told her my knees knocked when Harold kissed + that I never felt that way. I kid you not I'd been kissed plenty before.
She said, be careful that guy will get in your pants. So stop + think. Is this a guy who loves you or just wants you. I know now days women have sex if they want too, thats fine I'm not square + times have changed. I was on my own if I got in trouble I had no one to help me. + tell you the truth I never really was tempted till Harold. Because I didn't drink I could control my feelings. But got to admit Ted + I loved sex.
So maybe its good I didn't find out when I was young. All I'm saying is there is the right guy out there + you will find him or he will find you. Just tell me to butt off or drop dead. But I care + don't think your as happy as act. If I wrong just tear this up + forget it. I'm to tired to copy this over. Messy as hell. Please tear this up this is just for you to read. I hate to write letters, If I had a better education like you, I'd be better at it.
I love you kid.
Gram
Better sight would help that's getting older. I got great kids + love all my grandchildren,
Lot's of memories just wish Ted could of loved longer. He would have been so proud of Kathy + John. And would have loved all you kids.