looking back, I was a fairly awkward child. I mean, the glasses... ugh.
but at the time I really was a magical thinker, I thought I looked like my dolls and also thought I was pretty much one of the better looking girls. I also thought I was a master-crafter, thanks to my mom's undying praise for all things artistic that I did.
hence my angelic grin when I perfectly replicated Kirsten's American Girl Doll Christmas Head Wreath... #nailedit
p.s. new goalllllllssss! Download 10_years_09Mar15
I don't re-read my goals very often and have quite honestly slacked at updating them since Aug13 (a break-up, work, 2nd job, broken foot, life, not-life, bullshit, more bullshit, etc. got in the way) - I hadn't ignored them completely, but was going about things in a driven but unfocused manner...
however, I re-read them today (while left justifying old posts and resizing all images to 500pixels wide... OCD alertttt!) and had a good chuckle about how ahead of them I am AGAIN. imagine if I had stayed focused?
as of the last 6 months my <1year goals have taken on a new format as a list in my phone (thanks Stevey J.). these are short form goals that have a 1 year timeline.
but really doe... I have to get my nose to the grindstone and update that 10 year plan...
if I write it... I will do it. #accountability.
ok... 1 week, starting NOW.
p.s. just realized that the left justifying is not the best option... the best option is to "justify all" #reeditallposts...
the one constant in life is that everything changes... and with those changes you re-evaluate where you were and where you're going.
despite heartache and disappointments some things rise to the top, amazing friends, a stronger sense of self and an ability to adapt & grow. and now I am hitting the ground running with an updated set of goals! Download 10_years_11Aug13
happiest of new years!
just revamped the blog to something more minimalistic & I am re-examining my goals as well as hitting the ground running with priorities for the new year... stay tuned loveys <3 Xx
why must infographics be so compelling?
saw this bad boy on Instagram and now I can worry about poisoning my skin in addition to aging it. greatttt ::
Yesterday Anna came over. And I was ironing. No. it gets worse. I was ironing Bobby's shirts. Have I become a hybrid of both of my grandmas? Well I wasn't using starch so I think I'm safe on that count. And to be fair, I was ironing his expensive linen shirts because I had haphazardly washed and dried them amongst the plebian clothing & as a result they were more wrinkled than my bulldog's smoosh face...
Aside from my imminent domestication, things are really great. And as much as I have no clue of what's going to happen in the future, I can look back on the last 3 years and distinctly see how I got to this exciting spot. Hard work, love, relationships, friends, not giving up & not accepting less than what I know is the best (from and for myself).
Now for the funnery to begin.
We are living in a new apartment in the South End & although it is beautiful, clean, organized to a T & full of love, the appearance is somewhat "clinical" (per Bobby's assessment). In order to warm it up we get to start with the fun of interior decorating. I started already at HomeGoods this weekend with 2 of one kind and 1 of another kind of pillows for the leather couch (in addition to many organizational solutions). We have 2 oil paintings in the living room & 2 pet portraits in the bedroom& the bathroom is for B&W shots.
Next up will be an odd number (3 or 5) of brown, black & gray vases & small sculptures for one of the window sills.
After that? Bobby's metal fabrication co. will step in with some epic metal gear (steel coffee table, steel shelves, steel bar cart & more!). Some shapes for steel shelving inspiration I found are the following, thoughts?
I also have a dedicated Pinterest board for the cause & someday hope to only feature images of the furniture Bobby has crafted - like this steel & black walnut table:
guess what's updated?! Download 10 year6-7-12
Poor Chris. I broke up with him over tuna tartare.
At certain times in one's life one comes to terms with their very own peculiarities and then decides to make the most of them. I am doing that now. Peculiarities including:
Pretty run of the mill for girls nowadays if you ask me. But either way the option is to be a little wacko and high strung with a ton of internal turmoil OR be my strange bad-ass self who is gleefully happy all most of the time. I choose B.
Now for changing patterns. F. Hard. And so easy to keep feeding off negative cycles with drama and gossip. So what is there to do? Drugs? Sure that's the easy way out (and I am not discounting them, especially for rough patches) but I'm looking for long term solutions where I can be me:
I just merged my music onto the cloud this week and that means re-hearing music from specific timepoints over the past decade or so. One genre is breakup songs, a few of which I played on a loop for a month last year, ah how far a year can take you.
Another and even better genre is kick-ass workout music for my shuffle which resulted in some newfound vigor for my workouts. Totally necessary, because as Mom and I stated last night, we are putting in more efforts to workout and eat well than in the summer and yet the scale is stagnant WTF.
Now that I am living in the suburbs, this decision should be easy with less distractions, no? Wrong. I would typically walk to one of my gyms or walk around the Back Bay but instead I workout and then drive home to be sedentary and cuddle with my hot man while watching TV or we go out and eat.
Something drastic must be done. That something is this plan (I'm doing ok aside from points 2 and 4) ::
1. Workout 5 days a week as follows:
2. Drink 2 nights or less (max of 4 drinks/nt)
3. Eat as follows: 6 x / day each meal consisting of 180-300 calories - lean proteins, complex carbs, omega rich fats in moderation
4. 2 cheat meals / week
Aside from that I have no complaints. I made pesto for the first time yesterday (YUM), I am anti SOPA & PIPA, work is going well as is debt management (all CCs paid off by late April depending on my tax return!) = EEeeeee!!!!!!
A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. Shakespeare
I recently made the unconscious decision to "stay in touch" with people, especially ones that I hadn't spoken to in years. I think it correlates with the (temporary) decision of living with my boyfriend out in the suburbs and my hour+ driving time each day. So far two girls I had been meaning to call were completely receptive and our interactions made me feel really positive (and also realize the amount of misunderstandings that can result from what people read on Facebook - ugh!).
The real problem I am having is keeping my New Year's Resolution of flossing my teeth every night.
I have a wrinkle in my forehead. I guess I furrowed my brow enough and it got stuck that way. In desperation I've been trying to associate it with dehydration or sleeping on my stomach (with my face jammed into the pillow, so the most likely culprit).
That's it. Nothing left to do but get older.
Might as well throw in the towel and say goodbye to my youth right now. In fact, I think I may want to start acting like an old woman. That means I can be even MORE crazy and forgetful than I already am. Forget my underwear? No biggie (those of you that know me already know that this has been occuring for years now, so in all actuality, my mental deterioration has had many telltale signs of slippage).
In fact, I've already changed my lounging attire to include Uggs and a men's t-shirt. It's pretty awesome and comfortable, although bending over and walking can be pretty embarassing.
You know what's awesome? This ::
It is a steel, rolling, metal clothing rack, designed by my boyfriend for my clothes and shoes. Thereby eliminating his constant headache due to my running around like a chicken with her head cut off when I can't put together an outfit at his house. It's one of my favorite things right now and he even sanded it down so I wouldn't get scraped on any rough edges.
It's pretty easy to play the comparison game because there is always someone better/more qualified/prettier/younger/wiser/more correct/at peace... Always. At some point you need to take a deep breath and let that all go. It's you v. you and the only obstacles are complacency & distraction from your big picture.
How to avoid those distractions? Umm I dunno?!?! But recently (and after some catastrophically dumb decisions) I made the conscious decision to *try to* avoid toxic connections, I guess I was drawn to them for excitement to escape boredom. Some examples:
As with any lifestyle change it's felt unnatural at times on top of a pretty ongoing level of second-guessing, but ultimately not without some seriously awesome benefits.
All this being said, I've made my mistakes and some people have walked away from me for the right reasons, but at the end of the day (as in this day, right here, right now) I am calm and happy and excited about the direction things are going in. Oh and by the wayyyy now that I have that work/life balance that I was dying for I have time for important things, like painting my nails, yeah that's right 2 sizes of sparkles&dark plum in 1 polish (Scandalous/Revlon) ::
Finances. Sigh. I have come to the realization that despite a *few* financial missteps through the years the most impactful has been the one to bring me the greatest joy. Olive Oil (hyperlink goes to the breeder where I bought her - yes she is on the homepage - & here she is pooping in case you've forgotten who she is) ::
$2300 up front + (Approx. $500/yr in costs x 6) + 1 week sick in '09 $6700 = ~ $12K
She is not worth the fur she is printed on.
On another note, financial health is a huge accomplishment. I am jealous of those that are there and if I stick with my goals I'm about 1 year away... I really recommend a financial tracker of basic life expenses, debts, weekly allowances & income to prioritize how you spend... Please see Exhibit A ::
You see, in the upper right I listed out my basic monthly bills/expenses. Then I pasted it on repeat in the left including rows for income. Then in the very bottom I divided what these add up to (or subtract down to, depending on how you view your glass) by the amount of weeks til that date and determined my weekly "allowance" for food, gas, fun, etc. If this amount is higher than what I will need, the leftover is tossed onto any debt or into a savings account (currently I'm hacking away at a moderate lump of credit cards + college loans <15K).
One great resource is Dave Ramsey, if you have debt I recommend his tactic of snowballing it (pay off smallest debts first but then roll those payments into the larger debts...ultimately living at the same means despite things being paid off).
Then there is always the flip-side of the coin, which is too risky for me... But this guy talks about how he paid off his house but would have made exponentially more in his other investments had he left the money there.
One thing I know, you can't take it with you in the end & it will only make you happy to a point, so maybe the bad little bulldog has brought enough joy and entertainment into my life in ways that will far exceed how -$12K impacted me. At least that's the way I see it, but my glass is 1/2 full :)
I've finely tuned my goals already this month so I don't necessarily need Resolutions, but it's always fun to feel as though you are starting fresh on January 1st ::
Losing weight is great, but being a healthy/hot shape (you know, like a rhombus) is nothing new in terms of goals and I am not beating myself up over body image... probably/hopefully ever again (although per my last post I deny myself olfactory delights on a daily basis). If I live in the image that I designed in my goals then:
Rightttttt??? One can only hope.
On another note, what is this season without sparkles? Which is why my Christmas wrapping has consisted only of sparkly items - bows, paper, ribbons, markers... Afterwards I chase the man in my life around his apartment with sparkly hands and then he becomes a sparkling Christmas elf as well!! And of course Olive gets plenty on her. The Christmas spirit gets on everything... Everything bro ::
it's true. it feels really shitty to break into a bag or box of sweets alone... but add a friend and VOILA instant comradery.
my mom always vents online about how she suffers through communal food in the workplace, and sure enough at my job there is pizza/pastries/candy/etc... every f ing day. which makes me think of that post going around Facebook with the Ethiopian kids up against the fat white chick on a supermarket sweep... sigh... #whitegirlproblems ::
either way, since starting this job I have had no pizza and none of the delicious North End pastries... not a one. and hence, even though I am not a skinny mini I still fit in summer clothes :D ::
I have updated my goals! But I am not posting them... Way too personal and timeline oriented. Rest assured, I am still holding myself to them. In the meantime I will write about vapid things like Christmas lists and fashion blogs :D
For my new job in Marketing at TJX, I play a role in Social Media and blogging. One of the best parts of the job is the fact that I *must* stay abreast of fashion blogs. They don't look so hard, so I've decided to merge some of my (often misguided) style choices into this blog. For example, my Christmas list (which I am not inserting a hyperlinked list for, as these are material items and I am so personally fulfilled without them that it's an exercise more than anything) ::
Yes. the Nike Free iD does say "LULU" and "OLIVE" <3
My list is better than last year's list though. Oh wait. They're the same.
On another note. here are some excellent fashion blogs to follow:
Merry Christmas, from Cindy Lu Hoo!
But what does it mean?
It means that when you put yourself out there & really stick out the tough times through the tears and pain, there will be icing on the cake. At least that's how it's going for me...
And now to revisit my goals... Again. Funny how I haven't looked at them in months and although some details are different, the big picture is the same. The best part is that I've been able to identify more core values that I have.
I haven't been too blog-a-licious lately, but everything is going pretty spectacular.
I just looked at my goals today. I know, it's getting old. But I read them through and realized two things:
So seeing as I am #winning so non-stop with checking off challenges in life I revised the goals to incorporate where I am now... check it:
And now for ridiculously cute animals.